《中式英语之鉴》读书笔记part1

zll2204

Reading Note 2
Reader: 邹乐琳
Reading Time: 150 min
Reading Task: Part One: Unecessary Words (I, II, III, IV, VI)
Summary of the Content:
1.Aspects touched upon:
What is good writing: All authorities on the style of English prose agree that goodwriting is concise. Careful writers say what they mean in as few words as possible.
Uneccessay nouns: (1) They are plainly redundant because their sense is already included or implied in some other element of the sentence. Examples: a. A. To accelerate the pace of economic reform. B. To accelarate economic reform. b. A: living standards for the people in both urban and ruralareas continued to rise B: living standards in both urban and rural areas continuedto rise. c. A: these hardships are temporary in natureB: these hardships are temporary.
(2)When they are deleted the sense is not diminished, only clarified. Examples: A: following the realization of mechanization and electrification of agriculture B: following the mechanization and electrification of agriculture. (
(3)Category nouns. This is the general noun that serves only to introduce aspecific noun (or gerund) to follow: "a serious mistake in the work of planning." In such constructions, the first noun announces the category of the second; in this case, it tells readers that "planning" falls into the category of "work."That is something they already know. Accordingly, the first noun should be deleted: "a serious mistake in planning."
Uneccessary verbs: (1) Unnecessary verb plus noun. The commonest type is a phrase like "we must make animprovement in our work."Here the verb ("make") is a weak,colorless, all-purpose word having no very specific meaningof its own, while the real action is expressed in the noun ("improvement"). Since the verb is not contributing anythingto the sense, it can be edited out: "we must improve ourwork."
(2) Unnecessary verb plus unnecessary noun plus third word. In the second type, however, the noun cannot perform the task either.Consider "our efforts to reach the goal ofmodernization."Here the noun ("goal") is no more precisethan the verb ("reach"). (Indeed, "the goal of" is only anothe rexample of the superfluous category noun. ) This means thatthe work of the verb has to be done by still another word, a second noun ("modernization"). Since now the first noun is not doing anything useful in the sentence, it too can be eliminated, along with the all-purpose verb. The result is,"our efforts to modernize." In phrases of this type, the basic pattern unnec. verb+nounhas been expanded to unnec. verb+unnec. noun+third word. As in the example above, the third word is usually anothernoun (or gerund). Since this new noun is performing the function of a verb, it should be given the form of a verb.
(3) Overworked introductory verb phrases. As noted below, these particula rverb+noun combinations have a few plain-verb equivalentsthat are sometimes found as well. However, no matter whether the verbs appear combined with nouns or standingindependently, they do nothing but delay the advent of themain action.
A warning about revision: A word of warning, however. First, you have to make surethat the words are indeed "unnec." This means that whenever you come across one of thesesuspect phrases in a draft translation, you are called upon to make a judgment. In context, is it justified? Is it necessaryfor the sense of the passage? Or has it been put into the English version simply because it was present in the Chinese?
Unecessary modifiers:
(1) Redundant modifiers
a) Obvious redundancies. Example: A: that theory too is a valuable ideological treasure of the Party B: that theory too is an ideological treasure of the Party [A treasure is valuable by definition.]
b) Adverbs of time. One kind of redundant modifier that often appears in Chinglish is the adverb indicating the time of an action. Example: A: now the government is working hard to improve taxation B: the government is working hard to improve taxation c) "Various" d) Other examples
(2) Self-evident modifiers. These, while not strictly redundant with another word, are still superfluous because the information they provide can be taken for granted. Example: A: these nine years constitute a period in which the national economic strength has increased B: in these nine years the economy has grown stronger [-Unless otherwise stated, "the economy" means the national economy.-(Review: "Constitute a period" adds nothing to the sense of "nine years" and is therefore unnecessary. )]
(3) Intensifiers. Intensifiers are adjectives (like "serious" and "great") oradverbs (like "extremely" and "certainly") that are intendedto heighten the effect of the words they modify. They should be looked upon with suspicion: more often than not, an English text is better off without them.
a) Intensifiers with weak words. Example: A: the people have a strong aversion to graft, bribery, embezzlement, and other dirty practices B: the people detest graft, bribery, embezzlement, and otherdirty practices.
b) Intensifiers with strong words. The classic example of this is the combination "greathistoric," as in "great, historic contributions," "an event of great, historic significance," and so on.
c) Common redundant intensifiers. Example: A: active efforts should be made to develop small-scalemining B: efforts should be made to develop small-scale mining [Efforts are active by definition: you can't make an inactiveeffort.]
d) Effect of intensifiers. For example, it is overdoing it to say that "all social circlesare tremendously enthusiastic about providingeducation.”"Enthusiastic" is emphatic enough: the adverb issimply excessive.
e) Advice from the experts.
(4) Qualifiers. Qualifiers are adverbs designed not to intensify the force ofa statement but to lessen it.
a) They are words like "quite,""rather," and "relatively." Example: A: we have dozens of thousands of students studying abroad, and it is quite important to create suitable conditions for their work after they come back B: we have tens of thousands of students studying abroad, and it is important to create suitable conditions for theirwork after they return
b) "Perhaps," "maybe," "possibly" hey can be neatly replaced by "may" or"might." Example: A: perhaps it will take a decade to accomplish this B: it may take a decade to accomplish this.
c) Comments by the experts
(5) Clichés. This category overlaps all the others:it consists of adjectives and adverbs which, while they mayor may not be objectionable for one of the reasons discussed above, are so overworked that they have become nearly meaningless.

Solution: The easiest way to deal with a cliché modifier is simply to omit it from the English version.
Redundant twins: One of the distinguishing characteristics of Chinglish is the constant use of two words so close in meaning that onewould do. The pairs can be nouns, verbs, adjectives, or adverbs:

Solution: In most instances, the best way to deal with redundant twins is simply to delete one of them. At other times, it is preferable to replace both members ofthe pair with a new word that expresses the thought betterthan either of the original two. For example, "faraway,distant areas" could be described as "remote." The best solution in such a case may be to add a word or two that will clarify the intended meaning of one or bothterms. Depending on context, of course, "conditions andenvironment" might be changed to "working conditions andsocial environment.".
Categories: 1. a pair of words in which the meaning of one is virtually thesame as that of the other 2. a pair in which the meaning of one is contained in orimplied by the other 3. a pair in which the meaning of one is so vague and general that it cannot be differentiated from the other.
Saying the same thing twice: There is a governing principle of English usage that rejects unnecessary duplication. This principle, which the American authority on usage WilsonFollett [p. 377] calls "the maxim against redundancy," insists that no idea should be expressed twice in the same passage.
Forms of repitition:
a)Simple restatement (same idea presented twice indifferent words)
Example: We must practice economy and reduce unnecessary expenditures
b)Self-evident statement (one idea implicit in another)
Example: We must arrive at the stationon time in order to catch the train
c)Mirror-image statement (same idea presented first inpositive form, then in negative)
Example: We must arrive at the station on time and not be late.
Solution:
a)find further (or different) meaning in the original
b)delete the redundant words
c)change the wording
d)let the repetition stand
Repeated References to the Same Thing:
These words occur when, in a given sentence or brief passage, there are two or more references to the same thing.
A: Statistics show that from 1990 to 1994, imported vehicles totalled 960, 000 units, compared with the four million vehicles produced in the country.
B: Statistics show that from 1990 to 1994, 960, 000 vehicles were imported, while four million were produced domestically.
Ways of shortening repeated references: If the idea is based on a verb, the second reference mightbe replaced with an expression like "do so," "do the same,""do likewise," or "do this" If, as is more usual, the idea is based on a nounaccompanied by modifiers, there are a number of means ofabbreviating repeated references. Here we shall deal onlywith the three principal ones, plus a fourth that is availablein special cases: 1. eliminating the modifiers 2. replacing the expression with a summary noun 3. replacing the expression with a pronoun 4. (in special cases) replacing the expression with initials