Random Thoughts

饼干糖

     At any time, we can decide to change the road we are on in life, take a new direction, follow a new trail. We are the only one who really knows what we want from life and if we are on the right roads for us. We are the only one who can fulfill our dreams and receive the happiness that comes from reaching those goals.
    We must understand ourselves enough to know what we want in life and what desires we believe are worthwhile for our future. We need to depend upon ourselves.
    How far can we walk? Our feet do not know the answer, but our far-reaching aspirations do; and how high can we climb? Our hands do not know, but our determinations do. We, therefore, should focus on our own strengths. Never let obstacles stop us or keep us from doing our parts. If we have dreams, then we have a purpose, and we have something to believe in. It is us who determines our future and how our journey through tomorrow will be.
    Promise ourselves a life filled with love, and then no matter what roads we travel will be on the roads we want them to be.

刁 立

Cinderella

and if we are on the right roads for us._______and whether we are on the right roads for us.

How far can we walk? Our feet do not know the answer, but our far-reaching aspirations do; and how high can we climb? Our hands do not know, but our determinations do.__________Wonderful!

The last sentence seems to be a new idea different from what you want to express through the first three paragraphs. It appears so abruptly that I don't think it fit in with this passage. If you really want to emphasize this point, you'd better illustrate it. If the end is better, this essay will be much better.

饼干糖

Thanks for your corrections and suggestions.
When the passage was finished, I found it's too short. So I just wanted to add more. It seemed that the sentences I added were irrelenvant to my central idea. I will pay attention to this matter in the future.

Cinderella

原帖由 饼干糖 于 2008-10-31 20:07 发表
Thanks for your corrections and suggestions.
When the passage was finished, I found it's too short. So I just wanted to add more. It seemed that the sentences I added were irrelenvant to my central i ...

We don't write for writing's sake. We write to tell other people what we are really thinking about.