Gap
Green trees were bathed in the golden rays radiating from the sun, which was shining brightly in the azure sky. In the trees, cicadas were singing a high-pitched chorus to heighten the atmosphere. A yellow cat was lying on the ground in a comfortable posture. They together indicated a hot summer afternoon. With a long broom in my hands, I was running after a red dragonfly. But several minutes later, the swift red was still flying above my head gaily. I threw the broom aside and diverted my interest to the lazy cat. Soon the cat moved its world to the backyard after my noisy chase. All these happened on my grandparents’ farm in the countryside, which was a paradise to me when I was a child. When I was asked to go back home in the city, I said goodbye to the rosy balsamines which could incarnadine my fingernails, to the white gardenias which gave off fragrance day and night, and to the veins which could be made into earrings and necklaces.However, several years later, again on the farmhouse, I sat on the sofa, watching TV. It couldn’t interest me since only Channel CCTV-1 was available, and no TV plays or films would be shown. I was no longer interested in running after a dragonfly or chasing the cat. Those activities became childish to me. What’s more, the absence of running water and shower annoyed me a lot. It seemed that I was cut off from the outside world so every time I stayed for a few days and then went back home.
Except for me, my parents and my uncle don’t stay there for long each time. We can’t get accustomed to the inconvenience. Although they have tried many times, they still can’t talk my grandparents into moving to the city. They are not willing to leave their homeland on which they have been living for so many years. They are used to the fresh air and the tranquil neighborhood. They are used to the planting of crops and the feeding of chickens. All these trifles are integrated into a normal countryside life.
Perhaps the only reason for the disagreement is generation gap. An old lifestyle won’t be easily converted to a modern one. The key is still more tolerance and more understanding. As to me, at every festival, I give calls to the old to express my best wishes, as well as to shorten the gap. I’m sure that my calls can comfort them a lot. I’m also sure that they can perceive my care and love.
As my grandma’s 70th birthday is coming nearer, I give my best wishes to her and “Happy Birthday”!
[ 本帖最后由 李欣蔚 于 2008-9-20 16:44 编辑 ] Except for me, my parents and my uncle don’t stay there for long each time. We can’t get accustomed to the inconvenience. _________Not only me but also my parents and my uncle couldn't get used to the inconvenience. We never stay there longer than a week.
except for:
We had a very pleasant time, except for the weather.
I know nothing about him except for the fact that he lives next door.
The first paragraph is really beautifully written, offering great pleasure to the readers.
They are not willing to leave their homeland on which they have been living for so many years. They are used to the fresh air and the tranquil neighborhood. They are used to the planting of crops and the feeding of chickens. All these trifles are integrated into a normal countryside life._________good use of details and parallelism:)
回复 2# 的帖子
Thanks for your corrections. :hug:Could you please give me some more suggestions on how to improve this composition? Thanks.:)
[ 本帖最后由 李欣蔚 于 2008-9-23 17:17 编辑 ] The gap you describe in this article is mainly the different life style between people living in the countryside and those living in big cities. But at the end of this article, you are trying to show your care and love through calls to your grandparents, which, after all, does nothing to shorten the distance between the two lifestyles. If, the gap you describe is generation gap, I mean, a lot of misunderstandings not only in lifestyle between you and your grandparents, so your way may be effective. So acturally I don't think "gap" is most appropriate here.:)
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