The Golden Age
The world being thus furnished with inhabitants, the first age was an age of innocence and happiness, called the Golden Age. Truth and right prevailed, though not enforced by law, nor was there any magistrate to threaten or punish. The forest had not yet been robbed of its trees to furnish timbers for vessels, nor had men built fortifications round their towns. There were no such things as swords, spears, or helmets. The earth brought forth all things necessary for man, without his labour in ploughing or sowing, Perpetual spring reigned, flowers sprang up without seed, the rivers flowed with milk and wine, and yellow honey distilled from the oaks.Then succeeded the Silver Age, inferior to the golden, but better than that of brass. Jupiter shortened the spring, and divided the year into seasons. Then, first, men had to endure the extremes of heat and cold, and houses became necessary. Caves were the first dwellings, and leafy coverts of the woods, and huts woven of twigs. Crops would no longer grow without planting. The farmer was obliged to sow the seed, and the toiling ox to draw the plough.
Next came the Brazen Age, more savage of temper, and readier to the strife of arms, yet not altogether wicked. The hardest and worst was the Iron Age. Crime burst in like a flood; modesty, truth, and honour fled. In their places came fraud and cunning, violence, and the wicked love of gain. Then seamen spread sails to the wind, and the trees were torn from the mountains to serve for keels to ships, and vex the face of the ocean. The earth, which till now had been cultivated in common, began to be divided off into possessions. Men were not satisfied with what the surface produced, but must dig into its bowels, and draw forth from thence the ores of metals. Mischievous iron, and more mischievous gold, were produced. War sprang up, using both as weapons; the guest was not safe in his friend's house; and sons-in-law and fathers-in-law, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, could not trust one another. Sons wished their fathers dead, that they might come to the inheritance; family love lay prostrate. The earth was wet with slaughter, and the gods abandoned it, one by one, till Astraea* （ * The goddess of innocence and purity. After leaving earth, she was placed among the stars, where she became the constellation Virgo- the Virgin. Themis (Justice) was the mother of Astraea. She is represented as holding aloft a pair of scales, in which she weighs the claims of opposing parties.） alone was left, and finally she also took her departure.
It was a favourite idea of the old poets that these goddesses would one day return, and bring back the Golden Age. （467 words） 本帖最后由 Cinderella 于 2014-11-2 19:18 编辑
Then succeeded the Silver Age, inferior to the golden, but better than that of brass. Jupiter shortened the spring, and divided the year into seasons. Then, first, men had to endure the extremes of heat and cold, and houses became necessary. Caves were the first dwellings, and leafy coverts of the woods, and huts woven of twigs. Crops would no longer grow without planting. The farmer was obliged to sow the seed, and the toiling ox to draw the plough.
（ * The goddess of innocence and purity. After leaving earth, she was placed among the stars, where she became the constellation Virgo- the Virgin. Themis (Justice) was the mother of Astraea. She is represented as holding aloft a pair of scales, in which she weighs the claims of opposing parties.）
然后成功的是白银时代，仅次于黄金时代，但却比黄铜时代好点。木星缩短了时间，并且把一年划分为四个季节。然后，首先，人类不得不忍受极冷与极热，房子变成了必须品。洞穴是第一个住处，然后是多叶的树木丛林，和树枝编制的小屋。没有经过播种的玉米不再生长了。农民被迫去播种，牛被迫去辛苦耕地。
（这个天真纯洁的女神。在离开地表之后，她被放置在了群星之中，在这里她变成了处女星座。西弥斯女神（正义）是阿斯特来亚的母亲。她是手持天平的代表，她用天平称量了对立方的要求）
Cinderella 的建议
Then succeeded the Silver Age, 然后成功的是白银时代，【此处succeed译为成功，是否合乎逻辑呢？查一下字典就知道，succeed除了“成功”之意，还意为“继承，接替，继……之后”】
Jupiter shortened the spring, 木星缩短了时间，【此处Jupiter是指罗马神话里的神朱庇特，其希腊名为Zeus宙斯】
men had to endure the extremes of heat and cold, and houses became necessary. Caves were the first dwellings, and leafy coverts of the woods, and huts woven of twigs.人类不得不忍受极冷与极热，房子变成了必须品。洞穴是第一个住处，然后是多叶的树木丛林，和树枝编制的小屋。【译得好】
Crops would no longer grow without planting. 没有经过播种的玉米不再生长了。【这句译文读不通顺。crop不光指玉米，它通指庄稼；这句话的意思是，黄金时代大地不经耕种就产出庄稼，现在不行了，耕种才能收获庄稼。所以建议译为：庄稼自行生长、不需种植的时代过去了。】
The farmer was obliged to sow the seed, and the toiling ox to draw the plough.农民被迫去播种，牛被迫去辛苦耕地。【个人觉得“被迫”这个词气场太强，可否考虑减弱一点译为“不得不”：农民不得不播种，耕牛不得不犁田。】
After leaving earth,在离开地表之后，【在离开地球之后】
Themis (Justice) was the mother of Astraea. She is represented as holding aloft a pair of scales, in which she weighs the claims of opposing parties.）西弥斯女神（正义）是阿斯特来亚的母亲。她是手持天平的代表，她用天平称量了对立方的要求）【忒弥斯女神（正义女神）是阿斯特来亚的母亲。她手中高举一架天平，用以衡量敌对双方的要求是否均衡。】 本帖最后由 Cinderella 于 2014-11-2 20:04 编辑
The world being thus furnished with inhabitants, the first age was an age of innocence and happiness, called the Golden Age. Truth and right prevailed, though not enforced by law, nor was there any magistrate to threaten or punish. The forest had not yet been robbed of its trees to furnish timbers for vessels, nor had men built fortifications round their towns. There were no such things as swords, spears, or helmets. The earth brought forth all things necessary for man, without his labour in ploughing or sowing, Perpetual spring reigned, flowers sprang up without seed, the rivers flowed with milk and wine, and yellow honey distilled from the oaks.
在黄金时代，地球上开始出现了居民。这是第一个纯真、幸福的时代。真理和正义盛行，既没有依靠法律的约束，也没有权贵的恐吓和惩罚。森林里的树木还没有被掠夺去为船只提供木材，人们也没有在他们的城镇周围修筑防御工事，更没有像宝剑、长矛或者盔甲一类的东西。人们不用艰苦地耕种，大地给予他们一切生活的必需品。春天永在，不用种子，地里也能长出鲜花来，河里流的是奶和酒，以及从橡树上蒸馏而来的黄澄澄的蜜糖。
It was a favourite idea of the old poets that these goddesses would one day return, and bring back the Golden Age.
这些女神总有一天会回来并恢复黄金时代，这是老诗人们最喜爱的想法了。
Cinderella的建议：
The world being thus furnished with inhabitants, the first age was an age of innocence and happiness, called the Golden Age. 在黄金时代，地球上开始出现了居民。这是第一个纯真、幸福的时代。【这里应先理解thus的含义，是承接上文“造人”而来。所以最好先翻译thus。being 表示这里不是句子的主体部分，the first age was an age of ...这才是句子主体。根据主次关系，建议译为：就这样，这个世界有了居住者，人类纯真而幸福，这一时代被称作“黄金时代”。】
nor was there any magistrate to threaten or punish. 也没有权贵的恐吓和惩罚。【此处magistrate意为：治安官员，而不是权贵】
and yellow honey distilled from the oaks.【从and可以判断，这一句与上一句是并列关系，上一句是the rivers flowed with milk and wine，flow用的是不及物动词，主语是river，发出flow的动作；所以这一句里，distill应该也是不及物动词，是honey发出distill的动作，而不是承受这个动作，所以，不能译为“蒸馏”，而应译为“滴下”。】 本帖最后由 Cinderella 于 2014-11-2 20:23 编辑
刘启 第三段（不包含括号内内容） 一次翻译
Next came the Brazen Age, more savage of temper, and readier to the strife of arms, yet not altogether wicked. The hardest and worst was the Iron Age. Crime burst in like a flood; modesty, truth, and honour fled. In their places came fraud and cunning, violence, and the wicked love of gain. Then seamen spread sails to the wind, and the trees were torn from the mountains to serve for keels to ships, and vex the face of the ocean. The earth, which till now had been cultivated in common, began to be divided off into possessions. Men were not satisfied with what the surface produced, but must dig into its bowels, and draw forth from thence the ores of metals. Mischievous iron, and more mischievous gold, were produced. War sprang up, using both as weapons; the guest was not safe in his friend's house; and sons-in-law and fathers-in-law, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, could not trust one another. Sons wished their fathers dead, that they might come to the inheritance; family love lay prostrate. The earth was wet with slaughter, and the gods abandoned it, one by one, till Astraea* alone was left, and finally she also took her departure.
紧随其后的是黄铜时代。人性愈发残暴野蛮，动辄大动干戈，然而尚未十恶不赦。接着是最为险恶与糟糕的黑铁时代。罪恶以洪水猛兽之势来袭；而谦卑、忠诚与荣誉逃离四散。欺诈、诡谲、暴力和对财富的病态贪恋在人类的土地上蔓延。水手顺风张帆，树木从大山上连根拔起以制成船舶的龙骨，在海面上翻涌起的怒涛。大地曾一度为人类共同耕种，可如今也开始被划分为私有。人类对于土地的产物不甚满意，却断然向其深处挖去，从中挖出了矿藏。罪恶的铁矿和更加罪恶的金子，由此产生。战争爆发，双方以器械争斗；客人身处其友人家中也不再安全；儿女亲家，兄弟姐妹，结发夫妻不再能信任彼此；儿子期盼父亲死去，以继承其遗产；家族的羁绊轰然倒塌。屠戮后的鲜血洒满大地，世界为诸神逐一抛弃，直至阿斯特莱亚（……）亦随之离开，渐而远去。
Cinderella的建议：
modesty, truth, and honour fled. In their places came fraud and cunning, violence, and the wicked love of gain. 而谦卑、忠诚与荣誉逃离四散。欺诈、诡谲、暴力和对财富的病态贪恋在人类的土地上蔓延。【truth宜译为诚实，这与”忠诚“还是有区别的。in their places中的their指的是modesty, truth and honour，所以建议译为：取而代之。】
Mischievous iron, and more mischievous gold, were produced. War sprang up, using both as weapons; 罪恶的铁矿和更加罪恶的金子，由此产生。战争爆发，双方以器械争斗；【both在这里应是指前文的iron 与gold，所以宜译为：战争爆发，黄金与铁被用作武器。】
family love lay prostrate. 家族的羁绊轰然倒塌 【family love译为亲情。此句可译为：亲情不再。】
till Astraea* alone was left, and finally she also took her departure. 直至阿斯特莱亚（……）亦随之离开，渐而远去。【Astraea的名字翻译之后应加一个解释，譬如”正义女神阿斯特莱亚“。此外，left在这里的意思是留下，其他诸神都走了，留下正义女神阿斯特莱亚独自陪伴人类，最终她也离人类而去。】
1.2.4段第二次修改
The world being thus furnished with inhabitants, the first age was an age of innocence and happiness, called the Golden Age. Truth and right prevailed, though not enforced by law, nor was there any magistrate to threaten or punish. The forest had not yet been robbed of its trees to furnish timbers for vessels, nor had men built fortifications round their towns. There were no such things as swords, spears, or helmets. The earth brought forth all things necessary for man, without his labour in ploughing or sowing, Perpetual spring reigned, flowers sprang up without seed, the rivers flowed with milk and wine, and yellow honey distilled from the oaks.
然后世界上开始出现了居民，这是第一个时代，同时也是纯真和幸福的时代既黄金时代。在这里，真理和正义主宰一切，既没有依靠法律的约束，也没有权贵的恐吓与惩罚。树木并没有因为人类造船而被掠夺，人们也没有在他们的城镇周围修筑防御工事，更没有像宝剑、长矛或者盔甲一类的东西。人们不用艰苦地耕种，大地给予他们一切生活的必需品。春天永在，鲜花可以不用种子而成长，河里流的是奶和酒，橡树上滴下的是黄澄澄的蜜糖。
Then succeeded the Silver Age, inferior to the golden, but better than that of brass. Jupiter shortened the spring, and divided the year into seasons. Then, first, men had to endure the extremes of heat and cold, and houses became necessary. Caves were the first dwellings, and leafy coverts of the woods, and huts woven of twigs. Crops would no longer grow without planting. The farmer was obliged to sow the seed, and the toiling ox to draw the plough.
然后成功的是白银时代，仅次于黄金时代，但却好于青铜时代。朱庇特缩短了春天，把一年分为四季。于是人们首先尝到了酷热与严寒之苦，不得不找一个容身之所。起初是洞穴，然后是茂盛的树木林和小木枝做成的小屋。人们必须耕种才能长出谷物，农民被迫去播种，公牛被迫去犁地。
It was a favourite idea of the old poets that these goddesses would one day return, and bring back the Golden Age.
这些女神总有一天会回来并恢复黄金时代，这是老诗人们最喜爱的想法。 本帖最后由 Cinderella 于 2014-11-2 20:39 编辑
第三段 黄妙灵 第二次翻译
Next came the Brazen Age, more savage of temper, and readier to the strife of arms, yet not altogether wicked. The hardest and worst was the Iron Age. Crime burst in like a flood; modesty, truth, and honour fled. In their places came fraud and cunning, violence, and the wicked love of gain. Then seamen spread sails to the wind, and the trees were torn from the mountains to serve for keels to ships, and vex the face of the ocean. The earth, which till now had been cultivated in common, began to be divided off into possessions. Men were not satisfied with what the surface produced, but must dig into its bowels, and draw forth from thence the ores of metals. Mischievous iron, and more mischievous gold, were produced. War sprang up, using both as weapons; the guest was not safe in his friend's house; and sons-in-law and fathers-in-law, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, could not trust one another. Sons wished their fathers dead, that they might come to the inheritance; family love lay prostrate. The earth was wet with slaughter, and the gods abandoned it, one by one, till Astraea* （ * The goddess of innocence and purity. After leaving earth, she was placed among the stars, where she became the constellation Virgo- the Virgin. Themis (Justice) was the mother of Astraea. She is represented as holding aloft a pair of scales, in which she weighs the claims of opposing parties.） alone was left, and finally she also took her departure.
紧随其后的是黄铜时代。人性愈发残暴野蛮，动辄大动干戈，然而尚未十恶不赦。最后是最为险恶的黑铁时代。罪恶以洪水之势猛然来袭，泛滥成灾；而谦卑、忠诚与尊敬却四散逃离，了无影踪。奸诈、暴力和对财富的病态贪恋在人类的土地上蔓延。树木从山林中被连根拔起，制成船舶的龙骨，水手顺风张帆，在海面上激起翻涌的怒涛。大地曾为人类共同耕种，可如今却开始被划分为私有。人类不满意土表的产物，定要挖掘至其深处，从中挖出了矿藏。有毒的铁矿和含毒更高的黄金，由此而生。战乱四起，两者都被制成武器；客人待在其友人家中也不再安全；儿女亲家，兄弟姐妹，结发夫妻不再能信任彼此；儿子期盼父亲死去，以继承其遗产；亲情彻底流失。大地杀戮成灾，血流成河，世界为诸神逐一抛弃，只有阿斯特莱亚（纯洁女神。其在离开大地之后，被置于众星之间，成为处女座。阿斯特莱亚之母是西弥斯女神（正义女神），她手持天平，用以评判对立双方的证词）独自留下，最后，阿斯特莱亚也随之而去。
Cinderella的建议：
请参看第一次翻译的评语中truth, in their places的理解和翻译。另两处both和family love你理解很对。关于阿斯特莱亚的翻译也是对的。与第一次译文相比更准确。不过mischievous gold译为”有毒的“，个人感觉偏离原文。原文意为”会给人类带来麻烦的，带来害处的“，所以建议译为：有害的】
还有，正义女神通常译为忒弥斯女神，而不是西弥斯
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